HOLA everyone 🙂
This week…. AHH sigh.
I have learned MORE this week than I ever have in my entire life.
BUUUUTTTTT as always… First of all, crazy moments:
Right before bed on Thursday, we heard like 12 gunshots outside of the house. We all freaked out because it was like REALLY close to the house. A neighbor called us and said to stay inside and NOT look out the window because something had happened and someone had a gun….. I dont wanna know….
Haha and I talked to many a drunk man this week BUT my favorite was this crazy guy named Simon who is really funny and is always dragging like chunks of metal or hoses and stuff behind him in the street hahaa. He came up and asked us for money, but I didnt have anything except my waterbottle. I gave it to him and poor guy he was so thirsty!!! He chugged it in like 3 seconds. But then we tried to ask him who Jesus was to him….and he was like…. (obvi in Spanish) You are Jesus. I want to marry Jesus because I am Mary. EW
hahahah we ran away. YAY for crazies.
But yeah. Sooooo for the spiritual stuff.
I have hit one of the harder times of my mission at this point in time…. My sicknesses are still here and I don’t feel good a lot of the time. So Heavenly Father gave me a week to sit down and take a good look at my mission, and my life actually. And I figured a bunch of stuff out.
Basically… I just want all of you to know that Heavenly Father loves us. I really don’t care if you don’t believe that, because I do. I actually don’t believe it… I KNOW it.
I was having a horrible day and was just not good health wise one day this week. I got down on my knees and prayed about what to do. I just was lost. I prayed a lot that day. I really had no idea if I could keep going.
Missions are really really hard. For everyone, I think. And I was starting to feel hopeless. Like my sicknesses are never going to go away.… like I am just not doing what other people can do in the mission.
I really have been thinking a lot about WHY I am here. Like, if these trials are so difficult for me, what am I going to do about it? I teach all the time that trials are a part of life and we sometimes just have to go through them, but I really wasn´t applying that principle in my life. I was starting to feel discouraged and give Satan power.
I have been praying a lot to know what to do. I know that I could go home, I know that I could try to get better and get reassigned somewhere closer to home… but I know that the Lord called me HERE for a reason. There is a reason for me being here in the smoke and humidity where it hurts to breathe. there is something I need to learn. But after a long day of praying, thinking and reading scriptures, I was in a bus heading home and had this overwhelming feeling of peace. Just this overwhelming feeling that Heavenly father LOVES me… that its okay and that I am doing the right thing. I know that I am meant to go through this trial to learn about God’s love for me and how to endure to the end. I KNOW That Heavenly FAther lovesme. And I am going to push through this. I am staying here and I am not giving up. I know that my Redeemer lives, and I will use his atonement and keep going.
I know that I have guardian angels by my side… and I always think about my baby brother and Great Grandma Rowley being here with me every day and supporting me. I know they are with me and I know the Lord is too.
I also wanted to share something interesting that someone told us.
We were talking to a less active family and they told us something that hit me hard. They said after a lesson “Yeah that’s all great and stuff, but you guys are missionaries and you arent in the real world like us. So we cant be spiritual like you guys because we aren’t missionaries.”
I thought that was just the lamest excuse!! Literally this gospel is the same for missionaries as it is for other people…and real world?? Ummm this is the most REAL my life has ever been!!!
Im not saying its always easy to be spiritual and do what we gotta do… BUT I do know its possible. And I know that its a lot easier to give up as a missionary than it is as a “regular person”. So if we can do it… everyone can.
i know thats true 🙂
I testify of these things
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
ps… yay for sun!!