maybe… kinda… sorta… wanna go back out??

This is a short post and kind of emotion vomit.
But I am in a weird place right now.
I am feeling sick and stuff and not completely well enough to be sure about anything. I want to get a job, I want to go back to school, but I am in pain a lot. And I’m exhausted.

But then this part of me is like starting to think about the mission a lot again. It was like… I had some time to feel relaxed and good about being home… good about my decisions and such.
And I still do! I know that it was the time to come home and I know I did right by HF by choosing to come home.
But I’m starting to think that maybe the Lord still needs me as a missionary..??
Idk.
I am just having this little annoying thought that’s kind of itching at me. I don’t know anything right now.

What I do know is that sitting here doing NOTHING is not my favorite thing. And I do know that thinking about the mission makes me so sad. I went out with some Spanish sisters and almost cried in the lesson. I really miss it, I miss it all.

Imagen 037
But I don’t know what to do. I think staying here would be okay too… but I feel like maybe I need to go back out?

Looks like some prayer and fasting are in the works…

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One thought on “maybe… kinda… sorta… wanna go back out??

  1. Hermana Lauren Mattinson says:

    Hermana Dunne!
    Okay so I’ve never done this before (because I don’t know you haha) but I just returned home from the Chile Santiago north mission about a month and a half ago. I was also released early (after four months) but for different medical reasons and usually I don’t comment on blogs but I can’t help relate SO MUCH to what you’re going through! I have just felt alone you know through all of this because honestly no one really understands but I just wanted to say that you’re not alone because I’m in the same dilemma, school or job or another mission?!??? I’m fasting and praying a lot about the same thing!
    WORST DILEMMA EVER but stay strong sister! Things will start working out soon and there’s a reason for everything, right?? Okay sorry this is long but thanks for sharing! Good luck with everything!

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